Now get the hell out of my office.

dearcoketalk:

I’m “the nice guy” that is best friends with girls but never has sex with them. I had two girlfriends in high school for a month each and none since then. Every time I try to hook up with a girl she stops and leaves. I’m shy, so I have a hard time meeting girls. I know I’m my own worst enemy. I don’t drink and I don’t do drugs, and its hard to meet people at parties when they’re shitfaced and you’re sober.

I don’t get it. I try my best, I drop everything to help girls out, but no one wants to stick around. What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I get a girlfriend?

You’re not a nice guy. You’re a whiny little bitch.

Girls don’t need your help. They deserve your respect. Quit dropping everything for them and learn the difference. While you’re at it, stop behaving like getting laid and getting a girlfriend are the same thing.

Oh, and not that you asked, but quit announcing your sobriety at parties. I can tell, you’re that guy. No one likes that guy. Just walk around with a solo cup filled with soda and shut the fuck up about it.